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An author with The Wild Rose Press, I strive to bring authors and readers together with a touch of Heart, Soul, and Happily Ever After.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Thankful Author 2016- Starr Gardinier

I am so thankful this year and every year for…
…my life. Back in 2004, my mother passed away. I was utterly and completely distraught. My mother was my best friend as well as a great parent. She provided to me the same as most mothers provide their children: love and nourishment. While my mother was not the wealthiest woman, by means of monetary possessions, she was the richest woman I knew. Ruth Marie Gardinier sacrificed for her children, including food. When we didn’t have enough to eat, she’d make sure her children were fed and would skip the sustenance she needed. She worked tirelessly at any job she could get to make sure we were taken care of.
This isn’t an article of woe is me or woe was my mother. Instead, it’s an uplifting true story that shows a mother’s selfless love, even after death.
After my mother passed, as I indicated, my world seemed to crumble. I started spiraling downward. Depression overtook me and I felt there was no way out. I wanted one of two things: for my mother to still be here physically with me, or for me to die and go with her. Just as I thought I’d reached the end of a thin rope that was keeping me tied to earth, my mother saved me. She gave again, selflessly, with love.
One afternoon, I lay down to sleep. It seemed like that’s all I wanted to do was sleep; to hide from the cold world in which I no longer could feel my mother’s loving arms cocooning me with her warm embrace. It was then that I saw her.
Apparently, I had been out shopping with my mother and some friends. The vision started after our shopping trip was over, at the point of saying goodbye to my friends for the day and to my mother for the rest of my time here on earth. I ran toward my mother. As I did, I noticed she was wearing all white and seemed to glow. (Yes, I realize this sounds like a made-up tall tale and a cliché, but I assure you it is not.) She held me close and wrapped me in her arms like she did when I was a child.
It was the most precious gift she could bestow upon me. I had what I wanted. I was again with my mother. Unfortunately, that moment didn’t last. I knew she couldn’t stay on earth any longer. I knew that moment was simply a tease. But it’s a memory that will stay with me for the duration of my life, until I am again with her.
While in her arms, I begged her to stay. To come home with me. She said she couldn’t do that and that I knew that. I then pleaded with her to take me with her. I’d go with her to wherever she had to go. She moved out of the embrace, looked at me and (again this sounds so made up) said that it wasn’t my time. I was still needed here. All I could do was cry. She kissed me on the cheek and told me she loved me.
Then she was gone. For the second time, my mother left me, but that last time, she left me with the will to go on. She saved my life. I knew in my heart she was right. I had to bide my time; fulfill whatever reality I was needed here for before meeting up with her again.
Since then, I’ve felt my mother with me. She hasn’t left me spiritually, only physically.  After my vision (I can’t call that a dream), a dove showed up. The house I lived in at the time never had visiting doves. Birds, yes; doves, no. Suddenly, it’s there. Some of you may sound like I just needed to believe and made this up, but again I promise you, it wasn’t that. My vision gave me the peace I needed, the will to live again. The dove gave me knowledge that my mother was still by my side.
I’ve moved twice since then. Each move, there’s always a dove near me. She still here and, I believe, will be until it’s time we meet again.
So, every year, every day, I’m thankful for my life.

Now that you’ve read the nonfiction account about the air I still breathe, some of you may wonder if that’s the reason I write paranormal now. Perhaps it is. Obviously, the stories I spin as an author are embellished, going much further beyond anything that I’ve actually experienced, but that’s why the stories I write are called fiction.

“The Other Side: Melinda’s Story” is Melinda James’ fictional account of what happened to her once she experienced the death of a loved one. It was not a happy occasion as the one I experienced in real life. “The Other Side: Trent’s Story” tells the story of what Trent Miller experienced when he met Melinda’s dead relatives and what he endured in order to keep his sanity. “The Other Side: Ben’s Story” is not out yet, but it will convey Ben’s life as it was many years prior to when he lived on Earth and how and why his life is now entangled with Trent’s and why he’s now seeking his revenge, using both Melinda and Trent as bait.
If you’re interested in reading the Other Side series, you can choose eBook format or paperback. Simply go to: http://bit.ly/2b9vK4B and http://bit.ly/2bkakyh.
If you would like to know more about me, visit me at www.QueenWriter.com and http://qw-blog.blogspot.com.


  1. What an inspiring post about your paranormal adventure with your mother. I completely understand. When I lost mine suddenly by a heart attack, I was in a state of shock and grief and had a similar experience a few days later, where she reappeared to me in a dream, to reassure me that all was well.

  2. Starr, This is an amazing post. I believe we keep those we love, and who have passed, near us so long as we continue thinking and speaking of them. I'm so glad you have your doves...for me it's butterflies and my heart never fails to rise when I see one. Your books sound wonderful!

  3. Thank you so much for sharing, Starr. This reminded me of my own "visits" from loved ones. I totally agree, they're gone physically, but always nearby in spirit. Wishing you all the best with your book.

  4. What a beautiful, heartwarming post. Thank you so much for sharing that.