I’m Thankful for What?
When I
signed up for #ThankfulAuthor, the gears in my mind started turning, trying to
figure out what I’d want to say. There are simply too many things to be
thankful for! To narrow it down to just one was hard. And I didn’t really want
to say the same thing that everyone else does. Often you hear people quickly
throw out there that they’re thankful for God, their faith, or perhaps their
family and friends, or you might even hear one or two say they’re thankful for
their jobs. Those aren’t bad things to be thankful for, and I’m beyond thankful
for those very things myself. But I wanted to share something less common.
One
thought that hit me was that I could share that I’m thankful for where I live.
I’m a resident of the great state of Michigan! What’s unique about my exact
location is that unemployment is low, the community is pretty safe, and the
weather is outstanding. I mean, we rarely see tornadoes, feel only slight
tremors from earthquakes, if even that, and wild fires and hurricanes are not
something we even have to worry about. The beauty of spring, summer, fall, and
winter are fully experienced, making me scratch my head as to why anyone would
ever want to leave!
But as
grateful as I am for my home here in Michigan, there is something else that I’m
thankful for that deserves to be shared with you all. It might leave a lot of
you puzzled, but try to bear with me here. What I’m thankful for is my…suffering.
The word suffering here could also be replaced with hardships or struggles, if
you want. Now why on earth would anyone be thankful for that? Let me explain.
Perhaps
the best example is when I went through infertility. My husband and I had to suffer
with this disease for almost four years. We’ve even had to go through the experience
of losing our first baby via miscarriage. It’s not fun, and I wouldn’t wish any
of this on my worst enemy. Now that we’ve emerged through this dark and lonely
tunnel and are now on the other side of things, I see what all of that
suffering brought me. I’m more patient. I realize there are things I just can’t
control. I don’t take things for granted the way I used to. My faith is much
stronger than it’s ever been. And I love my two precious boys better than I
ever could have if I had not gone through infertility and infant loss.
Now I’m
not implying that you have to go through infertility/infant loss to love your
kids the best, or that I love my kids more than you love your kids because I
went through this and you didn’t. I’m simply stating that for me, before
infertility, I didn’t quite grasp just what a gift and miracle a child was. I
figured everything came easy and should happen on my time table, making me a
very ungrateful, impatient person. Looking back, I can just see that the way I
handle, treat, or value my children today would have been much different had
they not been hard to come by.
One last
good thing that came from my experience is that I was able to support other
women going through the same thing, not only through a local support group at
my church, but also through a book I wrote, titled “What to Expect When You’re
NOT Expecting: Navigating Infertility”. Now women around the world can have the
information and inspiration I wish I had as they journey their way through
infertility.
Another
example, and the most recent, is in my writing. I love my stories. I get so
excited when a new idea, or enhanced one, pops up in my brain. I also love the
fact that I can be an indie author, making my own rules, setting my own prices,
and basically doing what I want. But that all comes at a price. As great as
that all is, I struggle with getting myself out there. I have to figure out
marketing on my own, where and how to publish each story on my own, and what
prices and genres to use all on my own. All of this in a sea of countless other
authors doing the same, makes it very hard to stand out and get anywhere.
But it’s
taught me something! It’s taught me to work harder than I ever have. It’s
taught me to never give up. It’s also taught me to learn to rely on others for
advice and to use their advice. Basically, to be less prideful. I’ve also been
able to get to know many wonderful authors who have a lot of wisdom to share.
They also are extremely supportive. Their example sets the bar high, and I tend
to reach (and maybe surpass) it!
I’m sorry
for this rather lengthy post, but this is what was on my heart to share. Yes,
I’m thankful for many things, as we all are. But beyond all that, I found
reasons to be thankful for the not-so-mundane things; the things that are far
from happy and fun and good. Because it was in those nasty things that I became
a better me. May you find a better you as you look for the light (and even dare
to be thankful) in your dark tunnels.
Neighbors Series
Growing
Up Neighbors (Book One)
Little Deborah Harrington stared across the street the day the Michaels family moved in. Who was this family? Would she even like them?
Little Deborah Harrington stared across the street the day the Michaels family moved in. Who was this family? Would she even like them?
Nicholas Michaels hated the fact he had to move away from everything and
everyone in his life, but his feelings change when he meets the Harringtons.
Deborah and Nicholas become the best of friends, and as the children grow up,
their friendship deepens.
But when tragedy strikes, will this cause them to part ways? Or will it perhaps
make them realize they may have stronger feelings for one another before it's
too late?
Buy Link: www.amazon.com/dp/B00PJGYW40
Next Door
Neighbors (Book Two)
Elena Montgomery, an elderly victim of fibromyalgia, has two main loves in her life: Brian, her attractive and hard-working son; and Jill Stevens, her caring friend and next door neighbor. When Brian and Jill meet for the first time, they have a chemistry that no one can deny.
Elena Montgomery, an elderly victim of fibromyalgia, has two main loves in her life: Brian, her attractive and hard-working son; and Jill Stevens, her caring friend and next door neighbor. When Brian and Jill meet for the first time, they have a chemistry that no one can deny.
Although Jill finds herself wanting to get closer to Brian, she believes she
can’t. Being hurt in the past, she vows to remain single the rest of her life,
thinking it’s better not to love than to love and get burned. Brian, on the
other hand, wants to get to the bottom of her fears and show her that not all
men are the same. He is determined to win her trust, her heart and her hand in
marriage.
Through pain, passion and pursuit, will Brian be able to prove to Jill what
true love is all about?
Buy Link: www.amazon.com/dp/B01D8XZJ1U
Long Lost
Neighbors (Book Three)
Gregory Bronson learns he’ll soon be moving away from his neighbor and best friend, Alison Levin. When he tells her the shocking news, she feels her world is being turned upside down. What would she do without Greg? What would Greg do without her?
Gregory Bronson learns he’ll soon be moving away from his neighbor and best friend, Alison Levin. When he tells her the shocking news, she feels her world is being turned upside down. What would she do without Greg? What would Greg do without her?
Fast forward fifteen years. Ali is engaged to Sean Whitman who can provide her
with anything she could ever want. While vacationing, however, she runs into
Greg. Suddenly she’s not so sure Sean is the one.
Greg finds himself just getting out of a bad relationship when he and Ali
reunite. He can’t help but be attracted to her and wonder if the two of them
could ever stand a chance.
As the two of them rebuild their friendship, the foundation for something more
is set until one day they finally give in to their desires. But after they are
interrupted with an emergency, Ali realizes she must make a choice. Will she
choose her fiancé, Sean, and go through with a wedding that is already planned
and paid for? Or will she give it all up for her friend, Greg, who could give
her the one thing Sean doesn’t: all of himself?
Buy Link: www.amazon.com/dp/B01MTW65OR
Get the
complete set for one low price! Buy Link: www.amazon.com/dp/B06XJ4PLPD
What to Expect When You’re NOT Expecting:
Navigating Infertility
Have you
been actively trying to conceive for the past 12 months or more to no avail? If
you answered yes, then welcome to infertility. It's a journey like no other.
It's one you never wanted to embark on, and it's definitely one you don't want
to stay on for very long. But since you're here, let this book be your
traveling companion!
In What to Expect When You're NOT Expecting: Navigating Infertility, Frances
Hoelsema uses her own personal experiences, as well as those of many other
women, to guide and inspire you on this ultra-frustrating, highly-emotional,
and what feels like an extremely-lonely journey.
If you've got questions...there are answers!
If you need tips...plenty are provided!
If you need someone to understand...these women do!
If you're feeling alone...be assured you're not!
Whether you've just begun your infertility journey, or have been on it for
quite some time, there is something for everyone. From astounding statistics,
to real-life examples, to concrete sources of hope, this is one book you won't
want to be without.
So sit tight and buckle up! The journey will be bumpy, but with What to Expect
When You're NOT Expecting: Navigating Infertility by your side, you've got
this!
Buy Link: www.amazon.com/dp/B07375G9WJ
Unfortunate Events: 31 Short Stories
Life is
often unpredictable. Many times, bad things happen that no one would ever see
coming, not even ourselves. And such is the case for the people in each of
these stories. Some will be attacked by vicious animals, while others navigate
through wild weather. The rest will find themselves in freak accidents, coming
face to face with the supernatural, being a part of something out of this
world, and many other situations that can only be described as unfortunate.
With traces of romance, adventure, humor, thrill, and mystery woven in, there
is a story for anyone looking for an entertaining read while being short on
time. And with just the right blend of horror and tragedy, this collection will
leave you dreading the possible.
Buy Link: www.amazon.com/dp/B075FG5MJM
About Frances Hoelsema
Frances is a wife and mother
residing in Michigan where she gets to enjoy all four seasons, autumn being her
favorite. After earning a degree in business and transcription, she now gets
the best of both worlds by working from home as a real-time writing manager for
an international transcription company.
In her spare time, Frances
thoroughly enjoys traveling, kayaking, hiking, shopping, chocolate, and loving
on her cats. She is also an avid reader and writer who loves to engage with
others through social media.
Some concepts that Frances
stands for are positive parenting, homeschooling, clean eating, and pursuing a
relationship with Christ instead of pursuing religion. She also believes in
never giving up; that everyone should keep chasing their dreams.
Frances loves to imagine a
good story and write it to life so she’s always busy working on her next novel.
Be sure to check out her website for more information on the genres she writes
in, as well as what you can expect to see next!
Connect with Frances!
Oh, Frances, I so enjoyed reading your post. It reminded me of my own struggles in life and how I often said to others, "I had to walk through fire and stumble over a path filled with boulders to reach some of my greatest rewards." Thank you for reminding me once again that sometimes those struggles are truly ones to be grateful for, right? Thank you for sharing and wishing you all the best!
ReplyDeleteThank you for a thoughtful post. I definitely agree the realization we cannot control everything teaches humility.
ReplyDeleteFrances,
ReplyDeleteWe too struggled with infertility for many years, experiencing several miscarriages along the way. For us, there was never another side, as we never were able to conceive and start a family. I will say, the struggle did make me a stronger person. I found I am good at helping others through their struggles since I experienced my own. It's easy to support someone in the good times, it's much harder when times are tough. I find I'm actually better at the bad times, having been there for so long myself.
I've heard it said that the deeper we fall into sadness and despair, the higher we are lifted by the joys in life.
Thanks for your post. I wish your book had been around ten years ago...Thank you for putting it out there so others know they are not alone when life doesn't go as planned.
I'm about to be the proud grandmother of another precious little boy--thanks to infertility specialists. Such a hard journey. As Debra said, the troughs are deep with sadness and despair. But the peaks are so joyful.
ReplyDeleteWishing you success in all your endeavors.
Frances, Oh, that lesson of patience! I think that's the one Life dishes out most harshly of all... Great post!
ReplyDeleteWhat you've said is so universal, Frances. Thank you for reminding me to be grateful for the bad times--they make the good times...well...good :) Happy Holidays!
ReplyDeleteIn a dark tunnel now...your words give me hope. Thank you
ReplyDelete